No one likes being told what they can and can’t do.
The longer I stay here the more I become aware of the goodness in the Catholic faith but also the number of, quite frankly, unbelievable teachings.
I was in the student common room watching the Man United vs. Milano match two nights ago when I got into a conversation with another student. The normal things; Are you going anywhere nice for the free weekend? The villa, oh I bet it’s lovely there now… Then we began talking about what he had been learning in lectures that morning. "The Sacrament of Matrimony," he said, "and what bars people from marriage." At first I thought that would be useful especially when talking to couples about the commitment they were going to make. He mentioned the things you would expect; polygamy, blood relations, being forced into it, if one of the partners was not baptised (but you can get permission from the Vatican if that is the case), not sure if I agree with that one but ok… Then I couldn’t believe what came next! If the male in the couple is impotent you cannot have a Catholic wedding and there is no chance of a reprieve. I was speechless.
Could you imagine the scene? The young couple are sat in the presbytery and the priest is reeling through the Churches teaching on marriage, going through the list of do’s and don’ts, when, all of a sudden, a priest you have probably only met in passing by the church door on a Sunday (and that’s if you are regular church goers in the first place, which lets be real - probably not) says, “…so impotency is a bar to marriage, are you impotent?” Oh the embarrassment, for all parties concerned. Granted I am sure it would be dealt with much more tactfully than that – the couple would probably be given a leaflet or it would not even be mentioned!
Add to this the fact that the guy was actually impotent for whatever reason. To give an extreme case he could have been in an accident and be paralysed form the waist down or born that way. You would deny a Catholic couple the Sacrament of Marriage because he can’t get it up! So not only would he feel awful anyway for obvious reasons but he is destined to spend the rest of his life as a bachelor because of something beyond his control. Now forgive me if I am wrong but this sounds very unchristian to me. Obviously the couple could go ahead and get married in a civil ceremony or within any other of the major religious traditions for that matter – I’ve checked, however, they may be incredibly devout Catholics.
I also decided to read the Churches teaching on this one for myself. There is no mention of it in the Catechism, but it is in the statutes of Cannon Law. Which basically says if you are incapable of having sex for the procreation of children what is the point of getting married? Well there you go! Don’t mention love, commitment, happiness, giving of oneself completely to another, not to mention adoption, sperm donation, artificial insemination, treatment for the impotency and other viable alternatives – if you can’t get it up what’s the point!! I am still speechless.
Thursday 26 April 2007
Monday 16 April 2007
Let it be.
I have just arrived back from the UK yesterday. It was great to be back – although I am more tired now than when I left. I have been singing at a club, been best man at a friend’s wedding and generally tried to see as many people as possible before my return, whilst consuming in a week more than ten times the amount of alcohol I consumed over the entire period of lent!
I was over the moon to see one of my closest friends get married. Although I don’t know who was more nervous, him getting married or me for having to give a speech. I think it went down well. It was definitely much more reserved than it could have been and even got a few laughs! I love catching up with people, some of whom I had not seen for years.
I have to admit that I didn’t feel myself for the first few days. I was looking at A getting married, smiling for most of the day (with the exception of when he had to deal with the manager, who couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery!) and fully ready to spend the rest of his life with S (who was equally as happy). I meant to say in the speech, ‘I had never seen A as happy and contented as he is now…’ (Although I think I missed that out by mistake). I found myself spending most of the after dinner jig looking around at all of the happy couples and thinking about the Church of England vicar who had married A and S, wondering how come nearly every other Christian minister has the option of marrying and raising a family?
When you put yourself forward for Catholic Priesthood it goes without saying that you sacrifice a lot. You get the obligatory questions about celibacy, “So what do you think about celibacy? Could you live a celibate life?” I think I had that one from six different people, each time I gave the same answer. Something along the lines of, “It is a different way of loving, you love people simply because they are and without any expectations.” Also I said the usual catalogue response of, “Celibacy is an outward sign of an inward commitment to Christ.” I think the first one makes more sense.
Caring for people just because they are people can be done by anyone; surely the skill is, whether married, in a relationship or single to care about others no matter how you find them. People can be grumpy, lazy, manipulative, rude, full of pride, judgemental, self-righteous, stubborn, cruel, uninterested, uninteresting, need I go on?! The trick is to separate the action/intention from the person and still be nice to them no matter what they might have done – nigh on impossible I know!
Like I have mentioned before we can speculate is this truth (in this case celibacy) or that truth the best way for me to find God? When really I am sure God is fed up of all the speculation, and as long as you try to grow and become a better human being whatever your circumstances in life, then I am convinced God is not bothered about small details. Maybe it is just better to stop speculating and wallowing in your own self-righteous view on the meaning of life and let life be.
I was over the moon to see one of my closest friends get married. Although I don’t know who was more nervous, him getting married or me for having to give a speech. I think it went down well. It was definitely much more reserved than it could have been and even got a few laughs! I love catching up with people, some of whom I had not seen for years.
I have to admit that I didn’t feel myself for the first few days. I was looking at A getting married, smiling for most of the day (with the exception of when he had to deal with the manager, who couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery!) and fully ready to spend the rest of his life with S (who was equally as happy). I meant to say in the speech, ‘I had never seen A as happy and contented as he is now…’ (Although I think I missed that out by mistake). I found myself spending most of the after dinner jig looking around at all of the happy couples and thinking about the Church of England vicar who had married A and S, wondering how come nearly every other Christian minister has the option of marrying and raising a family?
When you put yourself forward for Catholic Priesthood it goes without saying that you sacrifice a lot. You get the obligatory questions about celibacy, “So what do you think about celibacy? Could you live a celibate life?” I think I had that one from six different people, each time I gave the same answer. Something along the lines of, “It is a different way of loving, you love people simply because they are and without any expectations.” Also I said the usual catalogue response of, “Celibacy is an outward sign of an inward commitment to Christ.” I think the first one makes more sense.
Caring for people just because they are people can be done by anyone; surely the skill is, whether married, in a relationship or single to care about others no matter how you find them. People can be grumpy, lazy, manipulative, rude, full of pride, judgemental, self-righteous, stubborn, cruel, uninterested, uninteresting, need I go on?! The trick is to separate the action/intention from the person and still be nice to them no matter what they might have done – nigh on impossible I know!
Like I have mentioned before we can speculate is this truth (in this case celibacy) or that truth the best way for me to find God? When really I am sure God is fed up of all the speculation, and as long as you try to grow and become a better human being whatever your circumstances in life, then I am convinced God is not bothered about small details. Maybe it is just better to stop speculating and wallowing in your own self-righteous view on the meaning of life and let life be.
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