Let it be.

I have just arrived back from the UK yesterday. It was great to be back – although I am more tired now than when I left. I have been singing at a club, been best man at a friend’s wedding and generally tried to see as many people as possible before my return, whilst consuming in a week more than ten times the amount of alcohol I consumed over the entire period of lent!

I was over the moon to see one of my closest friends get married. Although I don’t know who was more nervous, him getting married or me for having to give a speech. I think it went down well. It was definitely much more reserved than it could have been and even got a few laughs! I love catching up with people, some of whom I had not seen for years.

I have to admit that I didn’t feel myself for the first few days. I was looking at A getting married, smiling for most of the day (with the exception of when he had to deal with the manager, who couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery!) and fully ready to spend the rest of his life with S (who was equally as happy). I meant to say in the speech, ‘I had never seen A as happy and contented as he is now…’ (Although I think I missed that out by mistake). I found myself spending most of the after dinner jig looking around at all of the happy couples and thinking about the Church of England vicar who had married A and S, wondering how come nearly every other Christian minister has the option of marrying and raising a family?

When you put yourself forward for Catholic Priesthood it goes without saying that you sacrifice a lot. You get the obligatory questions about celibacy, “So what do you think about celibacy? Could you live a celibate life?” I think I had that one from six different people, each time I gave the same answer. Something along the lines of, “It is a different way of loving, you love people simply because they are and without any expectations.” Also I said the usual catalogue response of, “Celibacy is an outward sign of an inward commitment to Christ.” I think the first one makes more sense.

Caring for people just because they are people can be done by anyone; surely the skill is, whether married, in a relationship or single to care about others no matter how you find them. People can be grumpy, lazy, manipulative, rude, full of pride, judgemental, self-righteous, stubborn, cruel, uninterested, uninteresting, need I go on?! The trick is to separate the action/intention from the person and still be nice to them no matter what they might have done – nigh on impossible I know!

Like I have mentioned before we can speculate is this truth (in this case celibacy) or that truth the best way for me to find God? When really I am sure God is fed up of all the speculation, and as long as you try to grow and become a better human being whatever your circumstances in life, then I am convinced God is not bothered about small details. Maybe it is just better to stop speculating and wallowing in your own self-righteous view on the meaning of life and let life be.