Speechless!

No one likes being told what they can and can’t do.

The longer I stay here the more I become aware of the goodness in the Catholic faith but also the number of, quite frankly, unbelievable teachings.

I was in the student common room watching the Man United vs. Milano match two nights ago when I got into a conversation with another student. The normal things; Are you going anywhere nice for the free weekend? The villa, oh I bet it’s lovely there now… Then we began talking about what he had been learning in lectures that morning. "The Sacrament of Matrimony," he said, "and what bars people from marriage." At first I thought that would be useful especially when talking to couples about the commitment they were going to make. He mentioned the things you would expect; polygamy, blood relations, being forced into it, if one of the partners was not baptised (but you can get permission from the Vatican if that is the case), not sure if I agree with that one but ok… Then I couldn’t believe what came next! If the male in the couple is impotent you cannot have a Catholic wedding and there is no chance of a reprieve. I was speechless.

Could you imagine the scene? The young couple are sat in the presbytery and the priest is reeling through the Churches teaching on marriage, going through the list of do’s and don’ts, when, all of a sudden, a priest you have probably only met in passing by the church door on a Sunday (and that’s if you are regular church goers in the first place, which lets be real - probably not) says, “…so impotency is a bar to marriage, are you impotent?” Oh the embarrassment, for all parties concerned. Granted I am sure it would be dealt with much more tactfully than that – the couple would probably be given a leaflet or it would not even be mentioned!

Add to this the fact that the guy was actually impotent for whatever reason. To give an extreme case he could have been in an accident and be paralysed form the waist down or born that way. You would deny a Catholic couple the Sacrament of Marriage because he can’t get it up! So not only would he feel awful anyway for obvious reasons but he is destined to spend the rest of his life as a bachelor because of something beyond his control. Now forgive me if I am wrong but this sounds very unchristian to me. Obviously the couple could go ahead and get married in a civil ceremony or within any other of the major religious traditions for that matter – I’ve checked, however, they may be incredibly devout Catholics.

I also decided to read the Churches teaching on this one for myself. There is no mention of it in the Catechism, but it is in the statutes of Cannon Law. Which basically says if you are incapable of having sex for the procreation of children what is the point of getting married? Well there you go! Don’t mention love, commitment, happiness, giving of oneself completely to another, not to mention adoption, sperm donation, artificial insemination, treatment for the impotency and other viable alternatives – if you can’t get it up what’s the point!! I am still speechless.